12/06/99
Pokemon: Another WTO Conspiracy?
by Clifford F. Thies

Like most other parents in America, I was unable to figure out what*s with the Pokemon craze. I tried to look it up in the encyclopedia, I went to the library, I even cruised the web. Finally, in desparation, I asked my eight-year daughter, Anna. (She said I had to tell everybody her name should be pronounced Ah-nna not Aa-nna).

Pokemon is short for "pocket monsters." That's right. Those cute little things with funny names like Pikachu and Dodreo are little monsters.

Originally, they were part of video games for Nintendo, Play Station and Game Boy. Now, they're in a cartoon series, a movie (the first) and trading cards. Kids from all over the world are addicted to the games, communicating with each other on the net, and trading the cards. Even right here in Winchester, Virginia, Burger King is giving out Pokemon figures and has designated Tuesday as trading night.

Various theories have surfaced to explain the Pokemon craze. First, is the free trade conspiracy theory. According to Pat Buchanan, the soulless corporations of the WTO are using Pokemon to undermine our national sovereignty. They're using the internet to allow children to communicate with each other on a worldwide basis, without regard for our national borders! And, worst of all!, they're conditioning our children to trading with each other on a global basis. Today, it's global free trade in Pokemon figures and trading cards. Tomorrow, it will be global free trade in everything.

Second, is the Joe Camel conspiracy theory. Now that the trial lawyers have stopped the soulless corporations of the WTO from addicting our kids to tobacco, the corporations are addicting them to Pokemon. According to Anna, there are boys at school who are always playing Pokemon, and when they're not playing, they're talking about playing.

To a mere adult such as myself, the whole thing seems stupid. But to the impressionable mind of a youth, there's no defense.

Even the trading activity is addictive. Last time I brought the family to Burger King, there were some boys behind us in line, who like our children got their parents to bring them there. As soon as our children saw the Pokemon figures in their Kid's Meals, the boys asked them, "Do you want to trade?" They hadn't yet gotten their figures, and they wanted to trade.

On Saturday, some of the neighborhood children came by. As soon as they found out my children had some Pokemon figures from Burger King, they whipped out their own and asked, "Do you want to trade?"

Third, is the biotech conspiracy. Where do these Pokemon come from, and why is there a continuous stream of new ones? Just asking the question makes the answer obvious? From genetic engineering. The soulless corporations of the WTO are conditioning our children to accept gene-splicing and cloning and all the other ways they are messing with us and with our environment.

Some people wonder why I am even repeating these ideas. I ask: Is it a mere coincidence that the last time Alan Greenspan raised interest rates was the week Pokemon The First Movie opened in the United States, breaking all the records for opening week revenue, and threatening our already-weak Balance of Payments? I think not.

I ask: Is it a mere coincidence that so many of the internet sites that are trying to get the truth out about Pokemon have been shut-down by the assertion of so-called intellectual property rights by the mega-corporations?

I say the real unanswered question is how I was able to get this message to you, because for all I know they're probably tracking everything I'm sending on the internet, and I have a two little informants living at my house.

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CLIFFORD F. THIES is a Professor of Economics and Finance at Shenandoah University
and National Chairman of the Republican Liberty Caucus.